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IVF JUNKIE - EPISODE 1
We met with my husband at the end of 2005. Our meeting was obvious. We moved in very quickly together and talked very quickly about starting a family. My husband had doubts about being able to have children and told me very honestly at the beginning of our love affair. This has never been a hindrance in our relationship. It is a couple problem that we have always faced together. At the time, my gynecologist did not take me seriously when I told her about it. For her, it was all in my head and she wanted me to wait a year or two before seeing a specialist.
After a year we decided to take the first steps to see if anything was preventing our dream from coming true. Hysteroscopy, gynecological examination for me and spermogram for my husband. And the results come in: a priori RAS on my side and bad spermogram on my husband's side: too few spermatozoa, not very mobile, not very pretty. In short, we have confirmation that it is not in our head and that we will have to act.
We go to a first center to have our first consultation with a charming Doctor who confirms the PMA box and the sesame to start it all: the prescription of the products to be picked up at the pharmacy.
We are starting to realize with the protocol that we will have to be very rigorous and that we will go through different emotional phases.We are already very moved by the idea of finally being able to act on our problem and inflated with hope. The first phase: familiarize yourself with the name of the products, how to administer them and when. Plus the appointment not always obvious and the date of the puncture which will allow the hope of creating embryos and a much desired pregnancy. My mom is a nurse: she explains the injections to me, I feel a little feverish, however, but this time it's gone.
After the apprehension of the first puncture: the joy of starting the transformation of my oocytes so that they are as mature as possible on the day of the puncture. I'm strictly following protocol.
The fear also of not knowing if it will work: the fear of the white puncture: and if I ovulated before we could harvest them? will we have enough pretty oocytes? Will embryos develop? Will I get pregnant? What if it never worked? What if it worked?!
The first attempt and the 1st wait to know if it worked or not. The days of waiting seem endless. We know that we should not think about it... but how else? I throw myself on the forums, I only think of that. I prepare for success and failure scenarios. My morale is yo-yoing: one day I believe in it and another day I'm at the bottom of the hole believing that it didn't work... in short, my nerves take quite a beating! I have a stomach ache, my periods are coming very heavy: it didn't work, not with fresh embryos... big disappointment... the tears of the 1st defeat. Hormones coming down. The feeling of being overwhelmed with sadness, that I'm not going to get out of the trough of the wave and then calm returns and hope with it: we have TECs left. (Frozen Embryo Transfers*). Quickly we can start again.....
Sophie F
* Transfer of frozen embryos or TEV: Transfer embryos that were frozen or vitrified during the puncture
Episode 2 in issue 2
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